Today, right this minute actually I've come to realize that life is all about first times. Despite how horrible or amazing an experience may be, trying or attempting to forget it is just being really stupid and ignorant.

I realize that by accepting that it did happen, I did try something and even if it didn't turn out great, I have to come to terms with my choices in life.

From a first kiss to a first relationship, there were many times where I self-doubted myself and in the end that sparked confusion. A falsehood. A sense of denial. But yet somehow no matter how horrid one experience turned out to be, the beginning was always be thrilling. That one new feeling I felt every time I tried something different, that sense of vulnerability that I placed myself in.

It will always be memorable.
It will always inflict hurt.
If you've lost someone who once meant something special to you.
If a family member dies.
If you tried something new, hoping that something will last only for it to shatter.
All these experiences are FIRST time experiences.

You can't change them so instead of being bitter about the bad times, take it as a lesson. I once read, There are no mistakes in life, only lessons. I guess this is one of the ways I will coax myself into thinking that I have progressed.

Perhaps I have.
Or maybe I'm still stuck and am denial.

Only time will tell.

Till then, I bid thee goodnight.