Questions

I see everyone leaving my side, I'm left standing all alone in the rain, again. I wonder why is it I am less fortunate than they are but quickly brush the thought aside thinking to myself how ungrateful can I be? How can I even permit such thought to run through my brain? Maybe it is not them who are moving forward but me who has stagnated. D: I'm mortified.

I realize, my thoughts are unguarded. My surroundings unclear. I'm placing myself in this darkness. I wonder, if I were like them would I be better off or worst. If I had the opportunity would I cherish it as much or simply shrug it off, like most of them do.

Life confuses me. Then again, if it were straight forward there wouldn't be much of a challenge nor would it be interesting. Sometimes it crosses my mind, the possibilities. My options. Weighing them out, taking risk but what are those thoughts without action.

Whilst others are living life to their standard (or maybe they themselves are clueless), I can't help but think am I living up to mine? If not, what's obstructing me. Why am I not trying hard enough? Am I? All these questions keep my mind from sleeping in peace. It turns round and round endlessly, taunting my every move, my every action, causing me to place doubt in myself. Why must I cloud my own mind? Sigh.

Perhaps I hope for things to just, fall into place. Hope that they will. Hope that what's meant to be, will be.


BUT, What if Hope is Just not enough? What then?
Questions.