Thursday, March 21, 2013

I'm Sorry but I've gotta take care of myself first

How can we even begin to save others when its we ourselves that need saving?

So much courses through my mind day in day out, the meaning of life, the search for what it means, the quest for freedom.

The living in the now but that now is being taken away by all the mental stress I can hardly hear my own thoughts without being interrupted by some other thought that manages to creep its way through.

I'm starved for a life but what life would that be if not my own?

How to best put these sensations and emotions I'm feeling into words I don't know how yet, perhaps that has to do with my inability to fully use the English language to its fullest to express what it is I want to convey.

Perhaps the solution to all this is just to read more books.

That way the cycle may continue in a loop, read more books, learn more words and definitions, better express problems and poof come up with more complex ones.

Oh Lord. I just want to go into temporary hibernation. Forget the world, responsibilities, people who add to the stress and just vacate somewhere unknown.

Someday... maybe I'll disappear..

Is that selfish of me?