Sunday, September 30, 2012


Thinking of a name, who that name represents, just doesn't radiate the same impact as hearing said persons name in conversation.

Flashbacks occur.

Nostalgia encapsulates the mind.

It feels like a trailer from a movie, specific scenes on playback, the ability to pause, rewind, fast forward, play.

It's all too much to bear.

My mind. It implodes.

The idea that one of my favorite television series' is starting again only brings forth memories.

Ever found life to be such a paradox. It's beautiful yet cruel, is brings happiness and inflicts pain all at once.

Yet I stand firm in the belief what I've done is for the greater good of the bigger picture. It's for educating the self and learning what is it I'm still missing, what I've lacked to complete myself.

The pavements are barely beginning to be paved and with each step forward, I know I'll finally reach the end but the end is a end within itself, it's not an end that's tangible. It's perennial. 

Is this my salvation?

Wednesday, September 26, 2012


When one finally begins to embark on the journey of self teaching it's a refreshing feeling.

It's a strange quest, this.

A life long quest that hopefully will last till my final breathe.

This positivity, this surge in interest in everything and nothing, in an object and a subject.

In objectivity and subjectivity.

Viewing concepts and such from an exterior perspective, it's ravishing.

I can't help but wonder, all these wasted years of narrow-mindedness thinking my mind was "open" enough; how mistaken I was!

Just listening, reading, looking at things, zoning out into space, silence. Gosh silence.

What a change that has brought into life.

Silence in the mind, echoes in the mind, music on the out and in the in.

This state, it's ineffable.

You kind of just want to become a sponge and absorb as much as you can.

Then you think and you realize you no longer care what other people think (well not for trivial things as least) and everything just becomes to crystal clear. It's amazing.

This slow but occurring transformation.

I love this.

The time to truly learn about the self and the universe, the world, the good, the bad, how they're all entangled but how there's beauty. Beauty is subjective. Beauty which is aesthetic in nature only if it is pure.

Only if it is free, only if there's no sort of higher end to it. Just beauty as its purest.

Rambling on and on but who cares right, it's my blog, traffic is basically zilch what with the lack of updates but again, who cares :D




Oh life. Thank you.

The silver lining is beginning to show and I don't regret the past one bit.

Take decisions in stride and make the most out of the present so the future can shine as brightly as it so wishes.

So that the future can illuminate the world, my world, and give the self a sense of satisfaction that only comes perennial learning and education! 

Splendid this night.

No pondering on the sleepless nights if there are, on the questions that will plague the mind, all this traffic in the mind, so welcomed. Perhaps I don't know what I'm getting myself into, delving into the unknown, into the sea of Why and How but that's the best part, not knowing what you may find and knowing that whatever is found only adds to the experience, to the journey.

I may be stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea but I wouldn't have it any other way! For once, I'm happy. Truly happy to the core.

Oh why am I writing this. Haha. Thoughts. (: (: (:

Saturday, September 22, 2012


It's a little strange feeling, this. This what? This feeling.

Freedom. Free from a cage.

But the cage wasn't all too bad. It definitely without a single doubt in mind had its good days.

Opening up a blog and reading about food, it makes me feel nostalgic with this cage of mine.

It reminds me of happier times, fun times, times of less sadness and times of love.

It's unfortunate that the cage unhinged in such a way, I hope it can be repaired in due time therefore, only time will tell.

Will the cage rust? Will it remain shiny and clean? Will it grow moss and mold or will its doors one days again be mended and free to open and close under understood terms?

The circumstance will change but what transpired within that cage will forever be embedded in memory.

The birds in that cage were once one and now two. But that doesn't stop one from missing the other or pondering on the thought of how and or what the other might be doing at this very moment.


They are beautiful and majestic creatures, they are.

If only migration didn't just occur over a season or when disaster stroke.

Maybe these birds could've been.


But in the end, as the chapter closes with a blank page waiting to be filled when the time is right, maybe both birds can live together again, in the same space, at the same time, in the same sphere we know to be called the universe.

Birds of different colors, friendship, the color yellow.

Oh how the windchimes sprout a melody with the spontaneous but welcomed breeze.